Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Learning to Say It Out Loud

For a great deal of my life, I struggled with saying things out loud. It's just the way I've always been and I guess, in a way, still am. I've been in multiple situations where I would like to state my opinion on something, but then I hold back. I feared that maybe if I said something, it could either be wrong, grammatically incorrect or that my voice wouldn't be loud enough and no one would hear, let alone understand, what I wanted to say.  I feel that's why I'm better at putting my thoughts through writing. When I'm writing, I feel I can organize my thoughts better and really get my point across. You could say that writing has always been my ultimate comfort zone.

This year, I've been trying to allow myself to speak out more. Key word - TRYING lol. It hasn't always been so easy, though! I went on a little holiday trip to the Philippines early this summer and while I was there, decided to try a Thai massage for the first time. I hated it. I honestly felt like my masseuse was trying to release the devil from my insides. Now I'm not so familiar with Thai massages but surely it wasn't supposed to feel that way...? I wanted it to end STAT but physically endured the torture because I was scared of hurting her feelings. I've had several experiences where I was so concerned with how the other person would react that I would rather just keep what I was thinking to myself, even if it meant enduring lots of pain! Yup, I was that scared!!

Moreover, I've also realized that I do this with blog ideas as well. If you've been a long time reader of this blog, you would notice that I constantly talk about wanting to put up different kinds of posts but I never get around to it! The ideas are constantly piling up inside my head but for some reason, I never let them out. It's something I really want to improve on and actually why I wanted to write this particular post. I wanted it to be more of an encouragement to myself (and maybe a little bit of a test to see if I can still remember how to write lol!). I'm slowly realizing how important it is to speak your mind and how there are so many ways to do it while still being cautious not to be offensive or rude. If you're anything like me, I encourage you to try this with me as well. Little steps are key! 

I know I've said this countless times before, but please, stick around because new blog posts are sure to come your way very soon!